Our world today is full of a lot of noise and distractions. It is amazing to see how different generations have evolved and how attention span has shriveled. Our plugged-in society has truly changed the way we communicate. In some ways, it seems like people would rather text than have a face to face conversation. For a society that wants to ignite change and make our voices heard we have not found the balance between communicating effectively while actively listening. In my experience, there are really four types of communicators, those who:
- Talk a lot but say very little
- Talk very little but say a lot
- Hear little but talk a lot
- Hear a lot but talk very little
Personally, I think I fall under number four, I have always been more of a listener. It is not in my nature to talk over people or interrupt someone. I usually struggle with figuring out when to chime into the conversation, especially in a group setting. But while I might not talk a lot I am always actively listening. Not just listening to something in the background... I am making eye contact with you and digesting what you are saying. This is more than just hearing the words, this is the foundation of communication.
Active listening needs to be met with open, honest and concise communication. The following two-step method has helped me in the past when I have struggled with the balance of making my voice heard while still being a good listener:
Step 1 – Prepare!
Write down all of your thoughts before going into a conversation. Whether it is a brainstorm session or a more formal conversation... just get your thoughts out of your head. If you are afraid of speaking up in a group setting write down some of those fears.
Step 2 – Organizing your thoughts
Now that you have everything out there sort through your thoughts. Put it together and help it make sense to you. Outline the key points you want to make or the key things you want to avoid saying.
The more I have practiced this method the faster I have been able to think on my feet and know when/how to contribute to a conversation. Communication is really two-fold - using your voice and using your ears. The more we, as a society, can learn to actively listen to each other the more effectively we can communicate with one another. Time to put down the devices and start using our senses!
Thank you for taking the time to read some of my thoughts. This blog is a glimpse into the guidelines I live my life by. My Life Rules (pun intended)!